Am I good enough? Can I master this new task? What if I fail?
There’s no escape from the wall of self-doubt. Unlike traditional walls, this wall can appear at anytime, because this particular wall is not built by bricks or stones.
“What did you do with the money your mom gave you to buy guitar lessons?”
A question someone asked me after dabbling on a guitar before actually taking lessons. Apparently, allowing my curious but unskilled fingers to run up and down the guitar’s neck warranted a snarky comment. Well, maybe my playing actually upset people in another room of the house. Even so, isn’t there a better way to communicate this fact? Ya know, something like, “Hey, we appreciate your fascination with the guitar, but how about joining us over here.” Looking back, I am not even sure why I was at that particular house – I did not know the owner.
This scenario brings out something that I’ve always found strange, how does one get good at something without first failing? It has taken me a long time to deduce that even wildly talented people work hard at their craft – it’s just that their hard work seems to have paid off large dividends. I realize now that I should have known better.
Take Steve Vai as one example. Do people really think Steve Vai sounded like the master guitar player he is from day one? He just woke up one day long ago and started playing with his newly found gift. Nah, Mr. Vai spent many hours a day doing nothing but play the guitar. I’ve read somewhere that he spent 13 hours a day trying to master a single technique.
It’s also amazing how this mindset invades a person’s spiritual life. The fear of not being good enough obscures a person’s pathway to Christ. Sometimes, people feel like they “Need to clean up a few things and then accept Christ.” However, this doesn’t work because it’s not possible for humans to become good enough to meet God on God’s terms. This requires accepting Christ as the atonement of sin, and then through the help of God’s grace via his Son’s sacrifice, the person begins a new life with an acceptable standing with God. In other words, the cleaning up occurs after the acceptance, and the great thing is that anyone can do this now.
In Luke 5:32, Christ says, “I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.”
See, there is no need to wait.